Fine. I'm Invisible.

[Cloudeh Mongoose]

I called you ‘sister’ because we were so close.
I comforted you when it came to things about your past. I reminded you that you weren’t worthless.
I told you that whenever you needed me I’d drop everything and do what I could to help.
Is it wrong that I regret saying that now?
I don’t think so.
Because you don’t even seem to care.
You are talking to your friends. I ask you what it was you said, out of curiosity, because you obviously don’t mind telling everybody.
Apparently I’m dead wrong.
Because you look at me and say, Oh, it was nothing. Don’t worry about it.
I wonder.
Was it
about me?
Or can you just not be bothered to waste your breath
explaining it to someone you don’t care about?

I invited you to a birthday of mine where I could only invite one person.
I chose you over any other friends I had.
I had a great time. I’ll never forget it.
Have you already forgotten?

I helped your parents plan a surprise Quinceanera, just for you.
You told me afterward that it was the
happiest
night
of
your
life.
The day your dreams
came true.
It made me happy that I could help in doing something like that for you.
Something that made you happy.
Because that was hard to do sometimes.
Months later, I ask you if you’re happy, since your other friend just lent you a book you had been wanting for a long time.
You reply, Don’t you remember, I’m never happy.
I know that it didn’t mean anything personal.
But I can’t help remembering all the times you seemed
happy
around me.
I wonder if
you have forgotten those times.
Or if it was all
just
an
act.
At the same time, I think
Stop feeling so
sorry for
yourself.
A lot of people have it worse off than you do.
You have friends
cousins
a family
that cares about you.
Don’t take that for granted.

The subject of a class trip comes up.
We get letters about who the chaperones are.
I tell you I want to ride with you in your dad’s car.
You say, Sorry. I’ve got [insert people’s names here] riding with me. There’s no room.
You include the name of the guy you claim you hate.
Inwardly, I flinch as I feel something in me
break.
I think, But you hate him. You’d rather have some guy that hurt you ride with you than me,
your friend.
I never hurt you.
Do you hate me worse than him?

I don’t say it out loud.

We write essays—faith journeys—for our religion class.
You delve into your past, including your abusive mother, and how your father was taken to jail undeservingly.
You also include
your
friends.
You mention them all.
Every single one.
Including the one you hate.
It’s almost everyone in the class, I note.
Except for a few, of course.
Including me.

I get it.
You really don’t care.
Am I really not your friend?
Handing it back to you, I say,
That was awesome.
I really
liked it.
I’d bet all of your friends
will appreciate being mentioned.

You don’t even listen.
Hah, why does it surprise me?
You really don’t care, do you?
I am not asking to be the center of your life.
I just wish that you would treat me like I treat you.
A best friend.
A sister.
But I guess that’s not it, is it?
I give up.
I used to think that I could trust you.
You, the person who was closest to me at school.
I see it now, though.
I’m invisible. Even to you.
I’m completely invisible. I’ll accept it now.
I’m just not the friend
you were
looking
for.
And so you can’t see me.

Goodbye. I hope you don’t hate me as much as it seems you do.

Just having friend issues right now, and I had to put this up. I'm realizing that the one person at school that I was actually close to treated me only as a friend of convenience, and I wasn't happy about that. I'm okay with being invisible at school--or at the very least anti-social.

But invisible, unheard, and unnoticed by who I considered my best friend?
Sorry, it hurts way too much, and I hate dealing with friend issues like this.

If any of you have any advice for me, PLEASE tell me, because it would be incredibly appreciated.




P.S. I'm not looking for pity, so if it seems like I am, sorry. =(

[» Sacrifice]

I know! I know! [agreeing with your dad here. xD]

First, go ask her if she has a problem with you.
Then wait for her response.
And then ask her why she is being such a f*******[starred out, hopefully OK. ehehe.] b**** to you lately. ^^ Of course, I wouldn't put the first part since you aren't big into the swearing, but really, you need answers. She has been giving you sh** for way to long, and quite frankly, I'm done with it for you. I'm sick of her acting as though you are invisible, and if I thought I could do anything without exploding at her, I would.

But I have a temper, so that wouldn't be a good idea. xD

Anyway, yeah. I have no clue what her problem is, but seriously. Does not make me like her anymore than before. And you really shouldn't let us meet again if this crap keeps up.

Ever.

Because something might explode.
And I don't care what. xDD

Sacrifice out.