Post by » Sacrifice on Jun 15, 2009 13:03:43 GMT -5
Anger coursed through the apprentice as she raced through the forests of MapleClan, just trying to escape from what was behind her. Having just gotten into camp, her father, Darksun, had confronted her and told the news. Unable to even consider the thought he was telling the truth, Eclipsingpaw had run to the warrior's and apprentice's den, trying to think that he was telling her a lie, not believing what was the truth, even as she saw it with her own wide, blue eyes. There was just no way, why would they leave them? The feeling of being betrayed had coursed through the she cat, and as she stood, numb in shock, eyes filling with tears, her father had come up to comfort her, although the pain in his own eyes had been visible at the same time. Bitterness surged through the apprentice; she lashed out verbally at him, and then had just ran. Even now, as it felt as though she was going to die, there had been no stopping. The pain was a welcome feeling, it took her mind off of the feeling of betrayal, and heartbreak. Now though, as she stood on the border, the land of the loners in front of her, all the pain seemed to slam back into her, making the bold she cat cringe slightly.
They had left her. Rubypaw, Bumblepaw, and her own mother, Darkwing. They had left her and her father all alone. What had she done wrong? She had come back from the loners and made up with Bumblepaw, and even Darkwing for a grudge those many moons ago. She and Rubypaw had always been close, but now, now it seemed that everything she had been living was a lie after all. After all the thoughts that maybe life in camp wasn't too bad after all, she had her siblings, but now, now she was alone. There were no other apprentices, she had the whole den to herself. It was like everyone hated her, so why should she be forced to stay here, where bitterness was behind every turn? Why had she even come back in the first place, when she had obviously not been wanted? Eyes wide with tears, Eclipsingpaw felt the anger running through her again, and although her legs were like rubber, her chest heaving and lungs on fire, she took off again, racing along the border.
The young blue she cat was fast, faster then most adult warriors already, and it seemed that, aside from the marks where she had torn up the ground with her sharp claws, it was as though the she cat hadn't even been there. Even her scent trail was fading, but the bitter taste of anguish was still there, making the air foul. There was just no way they could have done this to her. Already temperamental, the apprentice often found herself in trouble with everyone, from insulting the leader, to just being bad. Now though, nothing mattered. Even as she raced along the border, there seemed to be nothing she would turn back for. No friends, no family really, there was no reason for her to be here. Skidding to a stop, Eclipsingpaw walked into a small clearing, surrounded by a ring of trees. There were no sounds here, other then the panting of the apprentice, but that was the way she wanted it. Alone, but hurting for company, it was a mixed feeling.
All the apprentice knew, was the fact that nothing had ever managed to burn this much in her life. Nothing was bad as the feeling of betrayal. Maybe this is what happened when you got close to someone, her father had two loves lost, and every time it had been more painful then the last. Or maybe this line was cursed. Whatever it was, Eclipsingpaw felt as though she had no way out. There was no solace for her, no, not anymore. What had been her last bit of comfort was lost forever, as even if they came back, there would be no forgiveness to them. They made their choice, and like she had always known she would be, Eclipsingpaw was alone. Her father didn't count, he had always loved Rubypaw better then any of them. He probably wouldn't even be upset if she left to live with the rogues. She had been hurt enough by the clans.
"Why me?!"
The apprentice suddenly snarled to nobody in particular.
"Why must it always be me?! I do my best to live this life, I came back to this clan, StarClan knows how much of a sacrifice that was, but no, nothing ever goes the way I want it too! I get ignored by the friggin' leader! Where is the justice in that? What is the point of me being here?! Nobody would even miss me if I left! Shatterfall has probably expected me to leave, and nobody would even care! Thats what I am to this clan, nothing other then just another warrior!"
Hissing, the apprentice turned her livid eyes to the border, and narrowing, her thoughts were obvious. There were no reasons for her to stay. And unless someone else came soon, she would probably go back to where she had been raised, although not born. She wouldn't be missed anyway.
Voice raw from shouting, a painful whisper came from the apprentice as she turned back to look at the forest.
"Why me? Why am I so hated by everyone? So unloved? Why was I ever meant to be here. Was I StarClan's joke? Why me.."
Tail dragging on the ground, ears flattened, the apprentice let out a sigh, almost sob, and sat down in the middle of the clearing, trying to stay above the waves of not being able to understand. But she was slowly drowning in what she couldn't understand. Of what this had happened to her, even when she tried her best.
When she needed a friend, it seemed there were none...
