Flooding back... ((SAC ONLY))

[*~ForestWind~*]

Night was rising... darkness still all around, yet anyone could tell tell that the sun was right around the bend. Maybe in a few hours, give or take. Dead leaves still rustled, hanging from the tree branches. And nocturnal creatures still creeped about. Everything looked pretty calm at the moment, yet the air around was full of so much tension, it was like it could burst at any time. Renegade's scent was pretty fresh. The putrid smell of pure death and terror, only a bit away from the very spot. That alone, was enough to scare any cat back into hiding. Or at least the ones who knew what was good for them. Just then a strong gust of wind swept through, and it must have carried along another with it. The silver she-cat ran swiftly, purple eyes flashing. She didn't stop, keeping her head down low to the ground, and claws out. Fear scent pulsed off of her, but clan smell was mixed along with it also. Lillydale knew why she was here...

The she-cat stopped abruptly, head snapping up with sheer alarm. Renegade was here, she too smelled the sharp warning. Yet she didn't leave, or even look as if she thought about fleeing. Lillydale wanted to find the murderer, as strange as it was. She had just told the truth to her clan; or at least to Dawnstar and Darkangel. She had to tell someone the terrible truth. Renegade, the assassin above all killers... was her brother. And everyone knew that his next stop was going to be Crescentclan. Her clan. The she-cat felt as if the reason for his planned attack, was her. If she didn't hide away in that clan, no longer would he want to go and slaughter all her friends. She wanted to stop him in the act, catch him before it was too late. She would try to fight him, but Renegade fought against all rules she ever know, and would win. But it would be better to sacrifice her own life, for her clans... she should of told them the truth sooner in the first place.

Her purple orbs lit up with rage, but also fatigue. Lillydale had been running over miles of land by now, and she was majorly sleep deprived also. The dream of warning she had earlier that night didn't help either... actually making it worse. She didn't want to find her brother, but knew she had to. And even though she was brave enough to go searching for her own death, the silver pelted she-cat couldn't bring herself to go to the rouge canyon. Even though that was probably one of the main places he was, the thought of purposely going there just gave her the chills. Instead Lillydale's legs seemed to bring her here, to the loners meadow. It was filled with the scent of Pewterclan, and mange. Fox-dung! She thought bitterly, deciding that she should have went to the Pewterclan camp instead. If Renegade had already took over that clan, and drove them away from their own home, that was probably where he still was... right? But then why was his smell so fresh, only a few hours old? She shook the thought out of her mind.

Taking a few steps around as she made her way deeper into the loners meadow, Lillydale sat down. Her paws had been numb from fright the whole sprint here, but now that she rested them how they hurt! Splinters and bleeding cuts lined the pads of each one, all four of them throbbing and swelling up slightly. Lillydale let out a deep breath, not daring to go to sleep. Nightmare would probably haunt her anyhow... She glanced around some more, memories starting to flow into her head. The last time she had ever been here was many years ago, when she was an older apprentice... It was all coming back to her now, and it was nice to get away the thoughts of Renegade for a little. But was the memories that replaced it any better?

The two of them ran here, little apprentice body's shaking with alarm and sorrow. He was her best friend all through kit-hood, and she remembered training with the little tom everyday... excited to see him each time. Lillydale smiled a bit, pain edging at her heart. The sun popped up all of a sudden, the dew on the grass gleaming. Everything didn't seem so menacing any longer... They were best friends, or at least were. How did she forget about him all these years?! Maybe so many things happened these passing days, what happened when she was young didn't matter any longer. But oh how she regretted it now! Best friends... but then he was banished, kicked out of the clan. They assumed he killed another cat, he was there with blood on his claws and everything. Everyone hated the poor apprentice since then, yet only one cat didn't believe it. The she-cat sighed. At first it was a real scare for her, her best friend a murderer? But she knew at once that he would have never done such a thing. Maybe he did cause some trouble now and then, never would he kill a clan mate though! He must have been framed... or at least in the wrong place at the wrong time. Crescentclan decided to force him to leave, never to return. And he did. Never did the clan talk about him now a days either, probably not wanting to soil the history of their great clan with such crimes. Lillydale could almost feel the tears pouring down her face as he told her that she had to leave him and return back to the clan. That she had a whole life in-front of her as a warrior, and that he had his own destiny. And that was the last time she ever saw the handsome tom's face. Just two apprentices...


Just then a strange smell hit her nose, waking her from the memory. It was probably some loner, and who knows if it was a friend or foe. But it now smelled like a rouge.. which freake her out even more. It did'nt show though... Lillydale wouldn't take that chance. She jumped to her paws, flinching as pain seared into her once again. A branch snapped in the distance, but that could have been a mouse. Yet, she never took any chances. Especially now as her nerves were high, and she was in a different place. "Who's there!" She hissed, pelt bristling. For some reason, she just knew that it wasn't her brother... it was just a feeling...

[» Sacrifice]

Time can change things. It can make things better, keep it the same, or make things worse. It all depended upon what had happened, before the time had started to matter. If darkness was the only thing that one can remember about the time before time, you can only imagine how much worse things had gotten for that cat. For the one who watched from the tree tops, the moon beating down, hiding his strange colored pelt, time had not been the enemy here. No, he had been hurt by the ones he had once called family, ones he had so foolishly thought to trust. Ones who had betrayed him, and let the real criminal live on. Why should he even try to trust anyone anymore, when there was nothing left to live for? Everyone he had known had left him here to die, nothing more then a wiry apprentice that was only half finished with training. One had tried to come, but back then, he had been untainted by the outside, a clean cat. He had turned her back to where she belonged. He hadn't wanted her to live in this barren landscape, it was not something that she deserved. But the pain had been so great as he had watched her retreating form..

Agony, grief, and numbness. They were all friends of his. Not a single day went by that he was not attacked by some unseen memory before the accusations started to fly. Ever since he was banished from his one loved CresentClan though, the memories had been tainted with a bittersweet feeling, a combination of not only anger, but pain. What had he done, to deserve such a punishment at such an early age? Nothing. Nothing at all. He had always been a trouble maker, but it had always been in good will. He would never murder a clan mate, but the blood on his claws only seemed to match. The reason he had been covered in cat blood? He had been trying to hold back the killer, so the adults could deal with him. Most of the blood had been his own, only, everyone had seemed to overlook that small fact. All they managed to see, was the bloody apprentice, the dead cat before him, and supposedly the next victim of his. It had torn the apprentice apart, even his best friend had seemed to be a little wary of him. She was the only one that had finally come back to talking with him, close as ever.

With his bright orange orbs lit up with anger, grief, and raw sorrow, it was hard to imagine how much this cat had changed from the small apprentice he had once been. No longer was he the lean, almost skinny cat he had been. Fighting all the time for everything had brought muscle mass to his frame. His pelt was riddled with scars, although nothing seemed to show unless one really knew him. It wasn't only physically that he had changed, his whole personality had seemed to change. A hard shell wrapped his true self, and getting to know him, was like trying to get an answer from a rock. Renegade's appearance had only made that shell thicker, and more hard to get through. He had given himself his own warrior ceremony, through the tears that is. As the full moon had bore down, he named himself Fallingflame. Nobody had cheered for him, or chanted, other then the soft sounds of a cricket chirping in the background. He envied the others then, the ones that would be considered cats of a clan, and chanted for. Envy is such a bitter emotion for anyone to feel.

If there was any hope for Fallingflame, it would have to strike him where it was still raw. Where he still could feel all the emotions a normal cat went through. As the moons had passed though, he was no longer an innocent in this whole thing. Fallingflame was nothing more then a killer these days, although, does it really count if your fighting for your own life? Even though exile had tainted his spirit, Fallingflame was still true to the code, and everything about it. You could take the cat out of the clan, but you can't kill the spirit of one who was clan born to start out with. As a fleeing shape suddenly appeared in the distance, the tom froze. He had no friends these days, the only cats that ever passed by here were no more then enemies, if he had met them or not. Everyone fought here, the meadow was no worse then the canyons themselves. Every day, it was as though the grass was dyed with the color of blood. Where can one find anything like a friend, would you think?

How tense this cat seemed to be! Already, he could scent that it was a she cat, how sharp his senses were now days, and that she had come from CresentClan. Cresentclan. It sent a wave of pure hate through him as the name seemed to reopen the wounds he had been trying to close. Why, why must he be tormented by the past? Why must he be driven so insane by what he can not change? It felt as though banging his head across the tree he was crouched on would make more sense then these endless riddles. He would deal with them later though, he needed to deal with this intruder. It was the first one he had seen in such a long time since he had seen one, that he actually looked forward to this meeting. Taking a deep breath, he narrowed those glowing orange orbs, and silently seemed to just appear behind the other she cat, just like a ghost in the darkness. Without the moon hiding his pelts true color, the striking colors of it were clear, even in the darkness. There was only one way though, that this cat would ever know who he was.

"Who wants to know? CresentClan has never done me any favors." Fallingflame hissed angrily, claws unsheathed. His pelt was flat though, only his eyes were narrowed, the orange color just a slit. This pelt looked familiar to him, although he wouldn't know who it was until he glimpsed the eyes. His own pelt was a brown red color, with shimmering red highlights. As you looked down more, you find that it changes into a soot color, just like in a fire. Where do you think his name came from?

"And what are you doing on my land here, stranger."
He growled.

[*~ForestWind~*]

She was still frightened by the scent of another cat so close, everything that happened to her was getting overwhelming. Lillydale watched with her narrowed purple eyes as the soft paw prints got closer. She whipped around as the tom appeared behind her, silver and white pelt bristling. There was no need to try to look cool and calm, since that couldn't be done. Not now. It was strange, Lillydale was usually such a low-key cat, never jumping to conclusions. Yet this night changed her, if only for a little bit. Chasing a murderer that was chasing you did that kind of stuff to a cat.

The she-cat dug her claws into the ground as the other cat spoke; she really didn't want a fight at this moment. The Crescentclan smell must have been sticking out like a sore thumb out in the meadow. And probably all the fear pulsing off of her. Lillydale looked up a at the rouge tom, something familiar about him. She couldn't put a finger on it, but some sworn she saw this cat before. She cocked her head to one side, scanning over him. For some reason everything she was afraid of about this unexpected cat went down the drain. It was a strange feeling, making her ears flick with confusion. How could she know a rouge? She didn't leave her clan territory in years, and Renegade was probably the only one she knew.

"I want to know," Lillydale spoke slowly, in a soft tone. Right now she was acting more like herself, but felt the insanity underneath, waiting to return.
"Crescentclan didn't send me either, I'm looking... for someone." She mewed again, still speaking slowly in a confused manor. She took a few steps toward the tom. She wasn't afraid of him.

"I know you, I know you." She started to walk around him, inspecting him. Memories started to flash in her mind, but just couldn't grasp the meaning of them. And who this cat was. His pelt was familiar, but at the sometime it was not. Lillydale ran her tail across his side, not in a flirting way, just to touch him and make sure this was real. Who know if she was still in some weird dream or illusion. As she placed her tail on him, she instantly felt all the agony and sorrow this cat had felt. It was terrible, and made her take her tail away quickly, as if something among his fiery pelt really burned her. She glanced up at him with pain for this cat shown across her face. Then something clicked.

"Fallingpaw..." She whispered, and seemed to see the small apprentice that she remembered, instead of this large and unfamiliar tom.
"Say your name." She demanded. Lillydale wanted to hear the truth from this cat, straight from his face. Maybe she was now imagining things too, the memory of her old friend driving her to what she really wanted to see. The she-cat sat back down in-front of the tom, curling her tail around her paws neatly.

((I am so jealous of your awsome skin around your info at the left! xDD))

[» Sacrifice]

This one was obviously a nervous cat. Just as he came closer, she was obviously ready to attack him, if he gave her a reason too. That, for some odd reason, seemed to amuse him. So it seemed CresentClan wasn't oh so powerful as it wanted to be. Look at the state of this warrior. Well, he thought as f0or a moment his mind flickered away, maybe they just torture cats for amusement. He had always known that they had been laughing as he had been banished! That they had only banished him for amusement. A wave of hate rocked his emotions, but nothing was seen through the glowing orange eyes that could even indicate his thought pattern. He was as unreadable as a rock, with all the reasons to be. If you felt around here, you really wouldn't get too far anywhere. After all the killings around this place, if you weren't numb to what was around you, it would drive you insane. You would think 'why do I live this way?' And other thoughts like that, finally ending in the darkest way possible. Fallingpaw had known all that when he had come out here, and needless to say, had adapted to the situation as well as expected.

If it came to a fight, Fallingflame was more then sure he was going to win. He could easily take a life or spare it, unhindered by the warrior code. He didn't follow all of the code anymore. He wouldn't attack though, unless provoked. One part of him was still burning, no matter how faint these days, that had all the goodness of a clan cat, and none of the darkness of a rogue that had seemed to fill him these gloomy days. There was something about this she cat though, something that seemed to lurk at the back of his mind. It was growing stronger, but every time he tried to pull it up, he met a black wall. He had long ago banished all the happy memories form his mind, and the black wall was just a thing that remained after all that. It happened only every now and then during this dark age, but this time, he really wished he knew what was behind the wall, so maybe he could have a chance to figure out who this strange cat was. He hadn't gone near CresentClan since his exile, so how would he know this feline?

Eyes narrowing slightly at the she cat's manner, his tail flicked slightly. This was the longest conversation he had managed in so long, it was rather strange. "You have given me no reason to trust you. How do I know that you speak the truth, when the truth is nothing more then a smudge of dirt in these lands? That CresentClan really didn't send you. You could be anyone's spy here." He said, in a low, half growl voice. Renegade's passing had not gone unnoticed here. Every cat could be a spy for him, and a single mistake could mean death for the cat that made it. Trust was dimmer then the small part of him that still glowed warrior. That was something to be expected though. Fallingflame had never been a trustful cat, even as a kit and apprentice. Nobody was really sure why he was so not trusting. That was a secret no one had ever managed to squeeze out of him. Not even the cat who brought up the black wall in his mind had been able too. Still, he felt no fear as he gazed into the violet orbs of this cat, his own glowing brightly. No fear was a strange thing here.

As she started to walk around him, Fallingflames's eyes tracked her, body shifting so that he could turn and slash in one movement, should she prove a threat. Her walking around though, it only made more memories spring to his mind, memories that were dimmed by age, but memories that he had seemingly missed from all the banishing he had done after exile. He didn't comment on what she was saying. She could have been mocking him and what he was thinking, for all he knew. Knowing her burned like a fire inside of him though, and was making it only more hard for him to solve it. He felt like banging his head against the tree he had previously been crouched on, when the memories struck him. It was like a roller coaster ride, the memories of all the happy times, and of exactly who this she cat was. Everything made so much more sense now, although he wouldn't let her figure out he knew who she was. If anything, he was more upset with her now he knew who she was. Would it have killed her to visit him sometime?

Pity for him flashed across her face, making Fallingflame's eyes narrow slightly. Pity. He hated pity. As she demanded to know his name name, defiance flashed across his eyes. He still hadn't grown out of that, it seemed.
"Names change as the time goes on. There is no way to tell if the name one speaks is the real name indeed. One could be playing with you in order to gain your weakness."
He said softly, eyes still watching Lillydale. He knew who she was, and it was obvious how close she was to figuring out who he was.
"Names of past do not matter. Names of future are unknown. Names of present are always changing. Forever, or not."
Speaking in riddles was something that Fallingpaw had always loved to do, even though most of them had never made sense to anyone.
"You might know me as different. Some know me as none. I'm done with this though, as my name is Fallingflame.
Happy, he thought to the she cat, although he didn't move an inch.
"Yes, Lillydale."
He said to her unspoken question if this was who he really was.

((xD))

[*~ForestWind~*]

Lillydale sat in-front of the tom, staring at him. She looked deep into his hard and glinting eyes, trying to find answers in the depths of them. Yet that was close to impossible, and sensed how this cat closed himself off from everything, any feeling or emotion. But another feeling inside of the she-cat just knew some how that his real self was waiting underneath his iron shell, which must have been added to day after day from his rough life. For some reason she wanted to pull this other cat buried way inside out, and believed that this was the tom that she knew.

"I know. You don't have any right to believe what I say is true. Everyone lies these days, and I am no acceptation." She mewed, face not showing anything. "But any cat can see by the way I fear, no one would want me as a spy. To tell you the truth, I ran away from Crescentclan after telling them what needed to be said." She purred, a small smirk forming. She was acting like her usual self, this tom fishing her out of her insane state. This had to be her old friend, even though she barely remembered him. Only the slight memories of the way she laughed and smiled when she was around Fallingpaw, the warm feeling taking a place inside of her heart. Lillydale looked up at him again, watching the tom dig deep inside his own mind. Maybe he knew her also... especially if he was the one she thought he was.

As he spoke, she smiled slightly without even thinking. Lillydale started to see that apprentice in this cat a little. She got to her feet, anticipation building up inside of her. Her silver and white pelt bristled, waiting for his answer. How the memories were flooding back now, Lillydale felt as if nothing was happening, but there was pain also. How did she let that little apprentice leave? Now that she was an adult, she noticed all the little things she could have done to help her old friend. She listened as the cat in-front of her spoke in riddles, nodding on every word he said, but also a quiet voice in the back of her head that constantly kept wondering if this is who she thought it was.

"Fallingflame!" She mewed loudly, and felt the hot tears building up behind her eyes. Lillydale grinned, trying hard to see through his shell once again. Her heart yearned to reach out to him, and have a good laugh with her old friend. But no, how he had changed. The tom seemed to look at her like she was the bad guy, not even glad to see her. As he spoke her name, it made her smile again, yet more pain ate away at her. "Why didn't you come back? You were so young, why did you take all the blame?" She asked, passion in each word. She never knew that she would ever run into this cat again, and now she wasn't to sure if she was happy she did. It hurt to seem him so differently, so empty. Yet she wanted to learn more about him, where he went all this time, if he too was planning with Renegade how to seek out revenge for the clan that kicked him out. They use to be the only ones who understood each other, could it still be that way?

"Fallingflame... have you ever thought of me over these years?"

[» Sacrifice]

How much had he changed over the years of being so alone in the world? As he watched the purple orbs of Lillydale, he saw at first, none of the same warmth that usually was there. It seemed he was a stranger. A stranger to himself, to his once best friend, to everyone in the world. He had somehow managed to wipe himself of the face of the earth, hidden until someone dared to try and find him, even by chance. In this barren area in which he lived, one could wonder what cat would make his home here, where nobody ever went by, and the only sounds ever heard, was the ones of crickets chirping in the background, their voices soft against the night's gentle song. It would be like a vacation at first, until the madness of being so alone would creep into you. Well, that madness wasn't always so visible, but with Flallingflame, it hadn't touched him in any way really. What you saw as you looked at him now, was of his own doing. It was his own protection against everything and everyone. Obviously, it worked, as there were no signs of any other cat that had gone through this area.

"Everyone has to lie to survive these days. The truth will get you killed, even when it seems nobody is listening. They are always out there, waiting for you to make a mistake." Fallingflame mewed darkly, eyes seeming to harden further as they made a swift sweep over his territory. You were never safe anymore. As an apprentice, before Renegade had come to power, he had loved this place. There was nobody to stop you when you wandered off, there was nobody to dictate your every move. There was no power filled cat saying that you had to obey them, or get killed, banished, or exiled. It seemed though, that his peace had been interrupted. It was when Renegade started to rule, that the memories had come back. The agony he felt with every memory that hit him. He would give anything to see Renegade fall. For the most part, he had stayed out of the fighting. But now it seemed, he had nothing to loose. Given the chance, he would fight Renegade, and would probably loose. It would stop this madness of memory though, a madness far worse then the barren landscape madness that affected so many.

Blinking slightly at her words, a small grin flickered on the edges of Fallingflame's maw. How he loved to hear that! CresentClan needed an ego check, and it seemed that Lillydale had managed that for him. "Ha. Serves CresentClan right." He muttered, obviously amused by what she said. He chose not to comment on the fear part, other then just saying "Yet, they may think that true, so it could all be an act." He knew it was not one, but you had to consider every possible option when it came to out here. Still, her words had slightly relaxed him, his muscles less locked into battle mode, even though he wouldn't have fought her. Dignity is such a strong emotion, that it often can rule one's lives, if they allow it. Turning his burning orange eyes to Lillydale, he watched the she cat carefully, not allowing himself to show the emotion that was dancing across his insides. He was still wary of her, although not near as much as a regular CresentClan cat. If it had been anyone else, he probably would have attacked them, just to get the anger he felt out. He had always had a bit of a temper.

"Hello." He mewed as she spoke his name, dipping his head slightly. His tail had stopped its rhythmic flicking, and now it was quiet here once more, aside from the voices of the two felines. At her questions, he found himself once more traveling back into the past, back into the red fringed memories that ate away at his sanity with nearly every passing day. "If they were too blind to see the truth as I spoke it, and allowed that murder to live in the Clan, then obviously they didn't want me there. I was just a hindrance to them, and they didn't need me. So, I left them." He said in a low growl, eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was remembering those days. The truth hurt more often then healed, and this was no exception.

As she asked her next question though, several emotions broke the mask, the two main ones hurt and shock.
"Did you ever think of ME Lillydale?" He hissed. "All the time you were surrounded by cats, while I lived in banishment for something I didn't even do? His tail flicked once more, obviously he was upset by her question.
"Of COURSE I thought of you. I thought of everyone back then, imagining what they would look like as they got older. The memories were all there, good and bad. They drive me insane with every passing day, to see how everyone always hated me it seems, that they didn't even listen to me. All the while I was stuck here, I wanted to go there and just show them exactly what happened. I wanted to get my banishment lifted. But, as I lived through the memories again and again, I found that they didn't want me. It is so obvious, that aside from you back then, nobody liked me all too much."
His voice dropped slightly, ears flicked back. He refused to meet her gaze with his own as he spoke his next words.
"I thought banishment wouldn't be so bad. I sent you back, but still hoped you would visit me. As the moons went on, I found something out. You had forgotten about me after all. You didn't even take time out of your busy warrior life to see your once friend. Do you know what it feels like, to be forgotten by the only cat you had really trusted?"

Oh, how the truth hurts.

[Marrowbone]

(( =Edges in quietly= 100 Points Forest, 120 Sacrifice. =Edges away quietly= ))

[*~ForestWind~*]

Crickets sounded around them, the dead silence intimidating her in the slightest. Lilydale stared at the toms face, not breaking the same mask that covered her own. She still couldn't believe how much Fallingflame changed. That young and handsome little apprentice that befriended her so long ago, now a strong adult transformed by hatred, tears, and isolation. His face was both beautiful and mocking to her. Still the same handsome cat deep below the shell, the silvery she-cat sensed it somewhere. But also making her want to rewind the past, regretting that she never did come after him even though he told her not to. It was probably the biggest mistake in her life. Yet regret was a disgusting feeling, one that wriggles around in your gut, enough to make you puke. It was because once you felt it there was nothing to do about it, no way to fix those long lost feelings. No way to go back...

"This world is one of much cruelty, our potentials in all the wrong places." She mewed back in a whisper. Lilydale wasn't exactly talking back to him, yet reflecting on what he had spoke about. It was so true, everyone waiting for you to slip up, to reveal a secret in the darkest shadows. And they would be listening, ready to catch you in the act. To banish you... To hate you..To kill you... A mother would raise her own dagger to the throat of a child, or at least that was how it felt. All the clans acted this way toward each other, it was the way Starclan arranged it. But cats in their own clan or families turn their head in the other direction after a wicked deed was done, and others disciplined that one harshly. Cats refuse to see the own evils around their own lives, and would rather pretend to not see it then take action. Lilydale's violet orbs flared for a moment, then was seized by old memories that she failed to see at the real time. Her lips curled into a silent snarl at all of them. Renegade. Charisma. Warheart. How she yearned to leave it all, to stay out where there was no one. Except Fallingflame. Right now she felt as if he was all that mattered. How sweet would to forget about the troubles of the clans, of her brother, and stay where you were the boss of yourself.

A soft wind ruffled the back of her fur, a forewarning of the pain she was about to endure. Yet she knew that it could never result in as much pain Fallingflame had gone through over these pasting years. Every time he spoke she could feel the strong emotions, and maybe that was just because her mind was looking so deep to find her long lost friend that still wasn't present. Still hidden away in a alien body. As the fiery tom exploded by her question, Lilydale cringed back. The sound of his voice was like a blade cutting through her, yet what he snarled out grabbed her heart with icy claws. Everything he said was true. She was let into his memories for a moment, experiencing how much worse it was for him. Why didn't she ever think of that? Was she as bad as the other cats who were too scared to act, and would rather forget? Tears came to her eyes, because that was exactly what she had done... Fallingflame was a lost childhood memory until now. She crumpled to the ground, as more thoughts and emotions hit her in waves. The insanity he discovered, the nightmares that woke him every time he slumbered. Lilydale could picture every last one of them. The she-cat pressed her lips together with much force, enough so that she could taste the metallicy liquid flow through her mouth. She clammped her eyes closed, trying to block it all out.

After what seemed like forever, she looked up at the tom. And the fact that he wouldn't look her in the face was like a slap on the face to raw skin. Tears fogged her sights, and she felt as if her throat was stuffed with cotton. Lilydale shook her soft fur from the dirt of the gritty ground. "I- I am so sorry Fallingflame." Was all she could mutter. Nothing she said could amount in so much meaning the larger cat in-front of her just spoke. Again there was that regret, and Lilydale really did hope she could throw-up right now. "I made many errors in my life, but this one means the most to me. I thought of you everyday back at the clans, I couldn't function right. Not without you there. The mental wounds never did heal, since the pain was just too real. Eventually after many of our clan-mates was sent to drag me out of the depression, I forced your memory out. I got my life back, and what you were a memory. I was wrong Fallingflame. I never took action, maybe I was a coward myself." Lilydale dropped her gaze to the ground, and watched a tear drop fall onto the dusty ground.
The truth hurt oh so much.

[» Sacrifice]

The world was full of sorrow, full of hurt, full of reject. There was little comfort from anyone, even those who you feel that you have known forever; they were just as artificial as the next cat, only better at acting, so they can hide their own true intent. It was like a balance though, if you looked at the autonomy of the world. How could you define hate without love? Or light without dark? There was no clear way to make one fade away without losing the other, no clear way to make all the pain that tormented the souls of those who were lost, for those who were teetering on the brink of no return. One wouldn't know, one on the outside, how close a cat could get though, until they finally just gave up. For when they jumped into that abyss of darkness, there was no turning back, not then, not ever. Once you start falling, one can't regain that footing on the ledge of insanity, unless outside forces act upon the falling cat, and how often did they come into the play? Everyone fell down, but a select few never got up, and a few never even tried to get back up, to start again when all hope was lost, as the reason to live has blown away like the hope of the fallen. Broken, bleeding, death often seemed like the kindest option for those lost souls...

"Maybe it is not the potentials that are in the wrong places, but the set of one's mind."
It was spoken softly, the opposite of his brief yet harsh word attack. There was no mistaking the pride that he still carried with him, the elegant way he held his head, the way he carried a bearing of being a ruler of himself on his shoulder. There was nobody to dictate him here, nobody to tell him that he was a liar, that he would never amount to anything in his life. To send him into this exile that was both amazing yet cruel to no end. Maybe everyone thought that they had shown those whom had done something wrong mercy, if such a thing was real in this world of bitterness. How hard was it to look at the bright things when everything was shadowed by something else, something that someone couldn't place, not until they lived it. Witnessing it was something, but you could never gain respect for the other until the other had actually lived that event, had actually gotten some feel for the other.

Sometimes, it was better to say goodbye. To forget all the old wounds, and just turn away from what was like a knife, thrusting deep into one's soul. But that took a lot of strength, to beat those memories that seemed to sear into one's spiritual and physical being. Fallingflame wasn't ashamed to admit that the strength required to move away from someone who brought so many memories both light and dark was beyond him at his current mind frame. Everything was going to fast, and to finally be able to let it out on someone who he knew wouldn't judge him, it brought a feeling of relief, of finally having the chance to let everything out, like a lance to a festering wound. As you watch all the puss drain out, and get that calm feeling as the pain stops throbbing, you get a general feel of what had been going on behind the closed doors that had been locked for so long, as the wound was set to rot away at the small amount of pure that was left. One could only survive here, if one chose to be here. Otherwise, it was a death wish.

Some cats were meant to act in this life, some were meant to hide away in the castles they built around themselves. And some were meant to lead the darkness against the light of day, waging war on a battle that would last forever. Fighting was what made up the world, one trying to prove who was better then the other, never wanting to admit that they had equals in this world. The soft breeze that ruffled Fallingflame's pelt, it was like a reminder of that, to tell him that no matter what the appearance may be, there were always foul intentions lurking under the surface, just waiting for the next chance to rear their ugly heads. However dark as one may seem though, there is always a weakness, no matter how small it may be. All you needed to do, was to find that weakness, and it seemed that Lilydale had found Fallingflame's, no matter how hard it was to correctly prick. For no matter what he had said, there were some things that you just couldn't lose, and all the memories of being with her, they pulled him strongly, and made himself feel horrid for what he had said. But there was no taking back what had flown this day from his maw, from his very soul.

As Lilydale let out her soft words, the monster that he felt he was just doubled itself, remorse for what he had done, not just now but so long ago just hidden behind the mask that seemed to refuse in falling. Maybe though, maybe it would fall today, as the edges were weak, the frame was wearing thin. How long though, had he held onto that mask? How long had he clutched to it, to keep from falling apart? The moons were too long to count, although it had happened right after his banishment. Everyone needed something, and now, as he watched that tear create a splash on the dry land, he knew something. That he had been foolish to think that he could live only on something that was as artificial as the world was, when he was obviously needing something that he could feel, something that he could be all he was around, without just talking to the thin air.

He needed a friend to light his path, and maybe something more then that. Someone to show him the right from wrong. And maybe, this was the answer to his calls, the answer to his prayers. For all he was worth, StarClan was still with the tom, as they were his only true belief, and for the past moons, the only one he knew were there for him, even if he couldn't always see them. For once, he found that the future didn't frighten him, that for once, the memories didn't sting like he was being whipped by some unseen force. How long this bliss would last was in question, but as a tranquil peace settled over him, Fallingflame was going to make the best of what he could not change. Raising his head, bright orange eyes softer then they had been, the hot tempered tom let out a soft sigh.
"But would that not make me a coward as well? I could have acted, yet I stayed where I was, living through each day the only way I could. I shut everything out, and even though those memories plagued my sleep, I moved on with my life. Rejection is a sharp pain, especially when it came from you, but it wasn't anything that was new to me."