Post by ~XxLone*WolfxX~ on Dec 6, 2009 14:52:48 GMT -5
Weeeell... First of all, I apologize for the fact that I have scarcely been on. As well as the fact that my first long post in a few month most be a stress board post. But it is needed for me before I blow up and get myself into serious trouble out here in real life.
I may suddenly remove myself from the gene pool someday. I'll sorely regret it, because most likely, it will be after I've torn myself into piece on the inside over all the wrong I've done. Despite how little the wrong is, despite how much it doesn't matter. There are a few choices for my life. Which I will list cause I feel like it. A warning, this is a bit angsty because that is my mood, so I'll probably sound like an idiot, but my own family thinks I have the brain of goose so I suppose it doesn't matter anymore, now does it?
Point one, I could stay, finish college, and torture myself for the rest of my life. Being around my family, being within contact of them and such. While being alone myself, because I will not allow myself to get married or have children after being so forward about not doing either. I do not want to, but last night it may be nice to have someone else aside from my family members who are slowly driving me into the dark that is my own doing in my mind which is a mess of many doings of others.
Point two, completely drop every contact with my family. Leave. Get away from it all. Run away basically. After college hopefully. I'll find some way to give back all the money they've spent on me. If I do become what I wish to be I should make enough to do so after a few years, or less. Who knows? Though this would include dropping friends and family that may actually care for me. But what's a little sacrifice in the long run?
Point three, the way out of everything. Though the dumbest way, and that road that should not be followed. This one I will not take, for if I shall, I will end up in the worst of conditions. The only way I could take this point was if I was truly mad, as in, out of my mind. no joking either.
Point four, join a certain group of people whom shall not be named for it may offend. So do not ask. Though I do not have faith in myself to be able to really be one of these people.
Point five, stick around, don't stay alone(As in marriage and such.), be hacked at for the rest of my life. Not looking pleasant.
Point six, probably the last one, start leaving the house and getting breaks. Though receiving the punishments with them.
Point two is looking mighty fine. Point six, I may be a bit too scared of the consequences.
Don't criticize me. Don't pity me. I send stuff into the stress board because I require the time to get things off my shoulders. Since mom and dad won't take me to a councilor anymore.
Last night was a bit of a blow up in my face, the bottle of emotions no longer staying put. Threatening to kill me in their anger, rage, and hurt. The result is a mess. At least art can allow me to express my feelings without consequences. Or anger towards me.
At least this rant wasn't too long. XP xd
I may suddenly remove myself from the gene pool someday. I'll sorely regret it, because most likely, it will be after I've torn myself into piece on the inside over all the wrong I've done. Despite how little the wrong is, despite how much it doesn't matter. There are a few choices for my life. Which I will list cause I feel like it. A warning, this is a bit angsty because that is my mood, so I'll probably sound like an idiot, but my own family thinks I have the brain of goose so I suppose it doesn't matter anymore, now does it?
Point one, I could stay, finish college, and torture myself for the rest of my life. Being around my family, being within contact of them and such. While being alone myself, because I will not allow myself to get married or have children after being so forward about not doing either. I do not want to, but last night it may be nice to have someone else aside from my family members who are slowly driving me into the dark that is my own doing in my mind which is a mess of many doings of others.
Point two, completely drop every contact with my family. Leave. Get away from it all. Run away basically. After college hopefully. I'll find some way to give back all the money they've spent on me. If I do become what I wish to be I should make enough to do so after a few years, or less. Who knows? Though this would include dropping friends and family that may actually care for me. But what's a little sacrifice in the long run?
Point three, the way out of everything. Though the dumbest way, and that road that should not be followed. This one I will not take, for if I shall, I will end up in the worst of conditions. The only way I could take this point was if I was truly mad, as in, out of my mind. no joking either.
Point four, join a certain group of people whom shall not be named for it may offend. So do not ask. Though I do not have faith in myself to be able to really be one of these people.
Point five, stick around, don't stay alone(As in marriage and such.), be hacked at for the rest of my life. Not looking pleasant.
Point six, probably the last one, start leaving the house and getting breaks. Though receiving the punishments with them.
Point two is looking mighty fine. Point six, I may be a bit too scared of the consequences.
Don't criticize me. Don't pity me. I send stuff into the stress board because I require the time to get things off my shoulders. Since mom and dad won't take me to a councilor anymore.Last night was a bit of a blow up in my face, the bottle of emotions no longer staying put. Threatening to kill me in their anger, rage, and hurt. The result is a mess. At least art can allow me to express my feelings without consequences. Or anger towards me.
At least this rant wasn't too long. XP xd