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Post by rainspirit on Jun 25, 2008 13:54:34 GMT -5
DragonKit lightly pounced on the small white butterfly trying his best not to let it go, "I the fierce DragonKit will save the clan from this evil beast ".He clawed the great "beast" down and without thinking ate it."Ugg "he mewed spitting the butterfly out on the ground.
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Post by breeze on Jun 25, 2008 13:58:59 GMT -5
(Try not o space the punctuation: UNCORRECT CORRECT I know our english teacher wasn't the best this year, but she did teach us a LITTLE bit.)
A soft chuckle sounded behind the kit. Orange eyes stared out from the darkness. It was the kit's father, Orangeray. He scooped the kit up with his teeth and lifted him gracefully before settling him back down. His ginger features blended into the fall leaves scattering the ground, his kit's pelt also blending in. He twitched his whiskers in amusement. The joys of being a father.
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Post by rainspirit on Jun 25, 2008 14:04:56 GMT -5
"Dad not now", DragonKit whined as he scurried away from his father, I was taking down a fierce monster."But you can help if you want", DragonKit said his eyes glowing.
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Post by * I v o r Y * on Jun 25, 2008 14:06:32 GMT -5
((Instead of typing:I the fierce DragonKit will save the clan from this evil beast ".He clawed the great "beast" down and without thinking ate it. You put periods before apostrophes and space after periods, not before. Oh, and remember your apostrophes...))
A gentle she-cat walked up to the the tom she liked her mates cheek gently and turned to her son. She flicked her tail across his face gently, in a teasing manner. "I know you'll become a great hunter one day." She smiled, "And save us from the terrifying butterfly beasts one day." She joked lightly, her sharp teeth glinting in the sun.
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Post by rainspirit on Jun 25, 2008 14:10:45 GMT -5
"Yes thats right I will.", DragonKIt mewed fluffing out his chest in pride.
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Post by breeze on Jun 25, 2008 14:13:43 GMT -5
((The comma's unnecessary))
"The butterfly certainly didn't stand a chance! But I will!" Another cat came into the mix. Or rather, a kit. His fur was silver like their mother's. His eyes were sea blue, almost green, but not quite. "I challenge you to a fight! Whoever wins is the butterfly champion!" His sibling, Slykit exclaimed in a rush of excitement!
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Post by rainspirit on Jun 25, 2008 14:16:33 GMT -5
"I would fight you any day." DragonKit squeaked trying his best to sound fierce.
(how exactly do you fight)
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Post by breeze on Jun 25, 2008 14:20:33 GMT -5
((You can't powerplay or godmode, but you can be like: So and so pounced on so and so, hoping to pin so and so down.))
"It's on!" Slykit squealed. He charged for Dragonkit, his head down. He aimed so that he would hit Dragonkit's chest right in the middle. He was soon racing at full speed. "CHARGE!" He yelled, as if he had an army of cats behind him.
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Post by rainspirit on Jun 25, 2008 14:25:24 GMT -5
DragonKit quickly side stepped and started to pretend to claw his brother ."You will never defeat me." DragonKit yowled.
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Post by breeze on Jun 25, 2008 14:28:54 GMT -5
"Oh yes I will!" Slykit disagreed. He jumped away, landing on his back. He kicked up with his hind legs, but ended up simply rolling over. "Ahhh! Must! Get! Up!!!" He saidm scrambling to his feet, and spinning around to face his brother.
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Post by rainspirit on Jun 25, 2008 14:35:38 GMT -5
DragonKit gently pawed at his brothers face before pouncing on him"Yes now who is winning' DragonKit mewed.
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Post by breeze on Jun 25, 2008 14:38:36 GMT -5
"Not You!" Slykit insisted, getting tackled by his brother. He bit down on Dragonkit's paw, "Ge Off May!" He mumbled through the fur. He jumped back, spitting fur from his mouth, sticking out his tongue in disgust, "EW! You taste bad." He now jumped onto Dragonkit, landed on his back.
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